The Discount Suit Company

The Discount Suit Company

The human brain is capable of having only one thought when a stranger is measuring your inseam: don’t fart. Many a gentleman has caused irrecoverable damage to his colon desperately trying to keep his natural functions at bay. It is considered exceptionally poor form to pass gas in your tailor’s face. Of course, some of us don’t know the thrill of a tailor’s needle in his bum. Some of us, of normal and moderate proportions, buy their clothes off the peg. While some of us have the proportions of Quasimodo and rely on tailors to shorten our sleeves, so they won’t interfere with our bell ringing responsibilities. We won’t name names, but one of us is what is known in the sartorial circles as ‘Neanderthal-esque’.

A man’s relationship with his tailor comes before Queen, God and Country, but unfortunately one of us had a falling out with his tailor after an errant button launched from his trousers and hit him in the face. Thus began the quest for a new tailor with tighter stitching.  As a cruel joke Ed, whose suits come ready to wear, suggested we drown our sorrows at The Discount Suit Company.


The Venue

The Discount Suit Company is neither discount, nor a suit company. We descended a flight of stairs lined with a black curtain. In order to attract attention these days, every bar worth a dram seems to be hidden behind a curtain or a secret door and based in Shoreditch. The Discount Suit Company is in Whitechapel and when we arrived, a man in a black cloak was leading a Jack the Ripper tour. Nothing gets us more in the drinking spirit than murder. We think Coco Chanel said that.  The small room is full of rough planks feels half-finished. We sat next to a mannequin with a tape measure around its neck. The furniture is a mish-mash of stools, chairs and sofas salvaged from your gran's attic. It looks like an old tailor's stockroom, which of course it was.

2/3 –It’s a bit like the beginning of a party before everyone has had enough to drink, but it has potential.


The Whisky

The gorgeous, smoky Subtle Peat created using blended scotch, a dash of Islay malt, lemon and creole bitters curled our toes and twisted our senses. They also know how to put together an excellent Penicillin, but alas not a whisky menu to be seen. Great for cocktails, but not one for the whisky. 

1/3 – You can get drunk here, but drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant.


The Atmosphere 

We often complain about not having a place to take ‘dates,’ well, we complain about not having dates but that’s another story. The point is that hard finding somewhere to take people you are meeting for the first time. You need a place that's non-committal, but says you have taste. You want a place that says you are cool, but not trying too hard. The Discount Suit Company could well be that place.

2/3 – Get your friends to go with you; drunken men give some of the best pep talks.


 

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Coming to the big screen

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The Beaufort Bar